 I am.
I am my thoughts. I am my words. I am my actions. I am my emotions. I am the one who decides to whom I listen. I am the one who responds. I am both sides of conflict within me. I am the problem. I am the solution. I am here. I am.
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 There will always be a gap between what we expect and what we get.
We expect the truth but those who know it may not have any reason to tell us and good reason not to. We expect a peaceful environment around us but it only takes one person to shake it. We expect that others will respect our rights but for some, ignoring rights is the way they achieve what they want. About the only things that cannot be taken from us are our own thoughts and feelings. To expect anything beyond that is to feed our disappointments. In the words of Buddha, when you cease expecting, you have all things. If I had free will, what would that mean?
Would I still have to deal with the uncontrollable things in life - my DNA, the weather, and decisions made by others? I am skeptical of the idea of free will because our freedom to will is so limited. I am under six feet tall. Even if I will to be an NBA star, does it matter? I doubt free will. I do not like the concept of fate, either. I reject the idea that my life is guided by some force or that it has been determined ahead of time. How can anyone prove their fate, anyway? We are handed a number of characteristics and circumstances. We play the cards we are dealt. Not everyone gets a chance at a royal flush. We are free to imagine things being better, but our choices are as limited as the people we are. We can work on freeing ourselves of limitations but in doing so, our will really is not free. We are free to make what for most are easy decisions - pay the rent, don't commit a crime - but when the decisions get tougher, we are reminded we are not free to disregard consequences. Nothing is really free. Fate is only understood in hindsight where it can be explained but not proven. St. Peter's ChoiceI recently wrote my thoughts about what would happen to me if there really were a Christian "Judgment Day." It was in an essay called "The Gospel of Dean."
God told many of us to go to a place of everlasting fire because we did not believe in his son. We got close to hell and discovered that the fire was only an appearance. We were the people that overcame the threat of hell and lived our lives in accordance with our own principles instead of expecting a reward. Now I turn to those in the other line. St. Peter is standing in front of heaven calling out names from the "Book of Life." It looks like (after hundreds of years) that he is just about finished. Let's listen in: St. Peter: I call the name John Doe. John: That's me! St. Peter: So what have you got to say about your life? John: I believe in Jesus. St. Peter: You do? John: Yes, sir! I am saved! May I go in now? St. Peter: Just a minute. You are going to get an eternity in there. What's the hurry? John: Uhh... St. Peter: What caused you to believe in Jesus? John: I was in prison. St. Peter: What for? John: Murder. St. Peter: Were you guilty? John: Uhh... St. Peter: You know I can call God and ask him. John: Well, yes, I was. St. Peter: So what are you anxious about? John: Uhh, I just saw one of my victims in there. St. Peter: OK, John. I have nowhere else to send you. God says you are allowed in, so go on. John Doe walks through the pearly gates and makes a sharp right turn. St. Peter: I call the name Sally Doe Sally: Here I am! St. Peter: How was your life? Sally: I did it all for Christ! St. Peter: How did you do that? Sally: I called people out for being sinners? St. Peter: Who were these sinners? Sally: Liberals, homosexuals, and other Bible-hating heathens who are burning in hell now. St. Peter: How do you know this? Sally: It says God hates them in the Bible. St. Peter (pulls out a Bible): Show me where in here. Sally: Uhh... St. Peter: Was it the New Testament or the Old? Sally: What do you mean? St. Peter: Have you ever read the Bible? Sally: Well, no...Is God mad at me? St. Peter: I don't know. But you can go through the gates to heaven now. Sally wanders through the pearly gates. St. Peter: I call the name Richard Rich. Richard: That's me. St. Peter: How did life go for you? Richard: I am blessed. St. Peter: How so? Richard: God gave me such a wonderful life. St. Peter: What made it wonderful? Richard: He showed me how to make money using Christian principles. St. Peter: Did you help the poor with any of that money? Richard: The poor? Who cares about them? St. Peter: Well, Jesus did. Surely you have read the "Sermon on the Mount." Richard: Yeah. I read that. But the Bible says that people should not be lazy, too. St. Peter: But not all poor people are lazy. Richard: St. Peter, I've had enough of this socialist talk. May I go now? St. Peter: Sure. But you know you can't take it with you. Richard laughs and goes through the pearly gates. God returns from sending people to hell. St. Peter drops the "Book of Life" and looks away from God. God: Peter, you've got one more name on that list. St. Peter: Yes. Of course you know it is mine. God: So why don't you read it and enjoy your reward? St. Peter: God, I can't believe some of the people who just went to heaven. God: They all believe in my son and that is what matters. St. Peter: You know I like your son and many of the people in heaven were good people, but... God: But what? St. Peter: But I want to go talk to the people you sent to hell. God: Why? St. Peter: I want to ask them why they rejected heaven. They must have had their reasons. Suddenly God disappeared and St. Peter was walking toward hell. He had one thought on his mind that he believes those in heaven never considered: "What is the point of going to heaven if you lose your soul along the way?" |
AuthorDean Hartwell keeps pursuing the truth about those who govern us. Categories
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